Someone to Believe in Them: Helping Romanian Orphans Find a Sense of Community
Attachment Disorder This label describes the emotional, psychological, social and learning difficulties experienced by children who have not had the opportunity to bond with a specific caregiver in the first three years of life. Symptoms may include:
Superficially engaging, affectionate, charming, or phony behavior
Lack of eye contact
Oppositional and defiant behaviors
Extreme control problems
Sneaky or bossy personality
Destructive to self, others, or property
Obvious lying
Stealing
Cruelty to animals
Lack of conscience, empathy, remorse, compassion
Impulsive behavior, lack of self-discipline or self-control
Poor peer relationships
Inappropriately demanding or clingy
Manipulative
Learning difficulties or disorders
False allegations of abuse
CLUJ, ROMANIA - Dina Nechita (34) is busy. As the ITRomania President, she runs several programs that focus on helping orphans in need and on developing adult orphan leaders.
Nechita, and her partners Bob Fukumoto (53), Director of the Romania Project and Gary Sharpe (42), Director of International Projects at ITCanada, helped establish two “mentoring homes” for adult orphans between the ages of 18-25. Here young people can acquire some of the life skills they never had an opportunity to learn while living in institutions.
One of the homes, an apartment, houses four young men who are now attending university or working. Romanian house parents, Monica and Emmanuel, supervise the other home that opened two months ago and will house four young men and four women.
From this location the adult orphans, many of whom suffer from Attachment Disorder, learn basic skills such as getting along with others, long-term planning, cooking, and English language lessons. Fukumoto organized a seminar on the concept of “Truthfulness” and Sharpe contributed with basic life skills instructions like how to write a c.v. and how to apply for a job. Other issues associated with Attachment Disorder are also addressed. In total, twenty-five older orphan leaders are now being trained and discipled to care for and mentor younger orphans.
“There’s a stigma attached to these orphans,” said Fukomoto. “Romanians think of them as bad hires. They feel that. They feel like second-class citizens. Some suffer from learning disabilities as a result of Attachment Disorder. Some are so hungry to have an adult listen to them that they will tell you all the details of their abuse.”
But Nechita’s face lights up when she describes the positive steps Sorin (27), an adult orphan, has taken since he left the institution.
“He graduated from university with a degree in Social Work. He’s going to church. He always wears a tie. He loves to clean the apartment. He dreams of having a home of his own someday. The neighbours love him and so does his boss. He works in a grocery store right now—he’s not working in his field yet—but he’s been promoted in the store and he’s found jobs for several other of the boys,” she said. “He has a great heart!”
In addition to the mentoring homes, for the past three summers the team has organized “Camp Discovery”. Forty children from the Prichindel Orphanage plus forty volunteers play games, make crafts, tell Bible stories, worship, hike and sing together for 6 days in a beautiful mountain lodge. The focus is as much on serving the needs of the children as it is on developing the leadership skills of the volunteers.
The team is also planning their first dental clinic this summer. Two dentists, a hygienist and an assistant will provide dental care during the 8-day clinic for the orphans who usually have no access to dental care except for emergencies.
Nechita, Fukomoto and Sharpe are making a huge difference in the lives of young people “graduating” from the Cluj, Bclean and Ilisua orphanages by mentoring and parenting and creating a sense of family among this community of orphans.
“These kids really matter,” Nechita said. “If you can see just one kid survive and find a sense of community it makes it all worthwhile.” BLM
As you have read, ITCanada courier teams smuggled Bibles and other resources into Romania before the fall of communism. This dangerous but important work made a difference in the lives of thousands of people. One such person is Dina Nechita whose family suffered under the hardships imposed by Ceausescu. When Dina was eleven years old an International Teams smuggler gave her a Bible. Dina cried, overwhelmed with appreciation for such a valuable gift. She promised that she would read her Bible every day. Today Dina serves as ITRomania president.
Romania Fact File
When Romania’s foreign debt increased from 3 to 10 billion USD between 1977 and 1981, Nicolae Ceausescu initiated a project of total reimbursement of the foreign debt by imposing policies that impoverished Romanians and exhausted the economy. Romania became a police state.
These hardships culminated in his overthrow and execution by firing squad in the bloody Romanian Revolution of 1989.
Part of Ceausescu’s plan was to increase the workforce by encouraging large families and making birth control illegal. For many poor families the strain was too much and thousands of newborn babies were abandoned in hospital wards.
International adoption helped alleviate this problem somewhat until 2001 when the practice was prohibited as a prerequisite to inclusion in the European Union.
At present 80,000+ children live in institutions and in foster care in Romania.
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“There’s a stigma attached to these orphans,” said Fukomoto. “Romanians think of them as bad hires. They feel that. They feel like second-class citizens. Some suffer from learning disabilities as a result of Attachment Disorder. Some are so hungry to have an adult listen to them that they will tell you all the details of their abuse.”